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MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Jake,
the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I
added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that
it works is, to load your pants
pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car
hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
World to think of crazy things
to say.
