Dear Everyone, My sister sent this to me...now I understand why I was so confused as a child. Learning German and English at the same time...which l

You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . . a new twist!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object..
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France .

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?


You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'.

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP! When is rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When is doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is time to shut UP!

The American Flag See Picture

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us. Go ahead and delete this.

Simple Home Remedies

> AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
>
> 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
>
> 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
>
> 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
>
> 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
>
> 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
>
> 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
>
> 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
>
> > You can thank me later.

Residents of Lake Ashton

We have residents that just love to talk about other residents but fail to say anything about the residents that call the police on other residents, Van Sickle's, and the flip-flop, of Margot Steavens. What is wrong with these people. How low can you get when you call the police on your neighbor. Yet she is running for the CDD board. If she gets your vote I hope she calls the police on you. To call the police on your neighbor is as low as you can get. Is this a good example of a Lake Ashton resident or a person that just loves trouble. She sure pick a good place to live with all Lake Ashton troubles and problems.

Ms Van Sickle

Would would think that all she had to do was to give the rules of poker to the players, instead she gave them to the police. What a Coward. Don't give her your vote for the CDD. She have the police knocking on your door. They knock on my door, thanks to the Van Sickles.

Margot Steavens

After spending $20,000 for checking out the roads and for Lawyer fees, Margot has decided not to go ahead in suing the developer on the roads. She has again flip-flop over issues. Did she ever tell you she has a loan from the Center State Bank, a very low interest loan on the two properties she and her husband owns and under the agreement she can only pay only on the interest. What a deal! No wonder she Flip-flop. Flip-Flop Margo

Mrs Van Sickle

Would you believe she is running for the CDD on the record of calling the cops on penny poker players. Please call your friends and let them know all the Van Sickles can do. Don't let her get voted into the CDD, she is all pro developer. If you think we have a mess now, we will have a bigger mess if she gets voted in.

Mr and Mrs Van Sickle

The Van Sickles are good for calling the cops. They called the cops on me too. They still think I have a AK47 in my house. I guess they will never know. I will never tell. Now they are calling the cops on everybody, even the penny poker players. What about Bingo Paul, or is he a saint. I guess this is all Van Sickle can do is fired is follow workers and call the cops. He has done nothing for the city of Lake Wales.

Van Sickle called the cops

Why would the Mayor of Lake Wales, give an order to Chief Gillis , Police Chief of Lake Wales to send 3 fully clothed, armed police officers to Lake Ashton to check on the community's penny anti poker game ? This happened last week.
Talk about spending Taxpayers money....Much better ways to protect the Town with our paid police force. Catch a murderer Mayor, and don't lose the records.

They gave the penny poker players rules to go by when playing poker. What a joke!

Van Sickle is on the Bingo board and controls Bingo. Whey didn't he call the police on Bingo Paul? He his spending the Bingo Profits without paying TAX. This is illegal and all money must go to charity. I guess Van Sickle fail to see this.

Its a raid

Police raided the Poker Club last week at the HFC This has got to be funny. Don't look at me, I was in Maine for over 2 weeks. Did the players get jail time? Joe Hunter, shame on you.

This Oil company is in BIG legal trouble!

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Fishing, Shrimping, and Tourism
Industries Devastated by Gulf Oil Spill!

Has the BP Oil Spill Caused you
Financial Loss?

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Joe Hunter

Joe has shut down the Club House. Joe sure made a big mess of things. He makes sure the restaurant is still open but the hell with the club house. Once again he makes sure that the developer business is going but the hell with the residents. Good going Joe, no fishing off the bridge.

Missouri is way ahead.....

SO WHY IS EVERYBODY SO UPSET ABOUT ARIZONA???

Simple solutions to not so complex problems!

The "Show Me" state has once again showed us how it should be done. They need more publication and exposure on this. Let's pass it around.

In 2007, Missouri placed on the ballot a proposed constitutional amendment designating English as the Official language of Missouri. Nearly 90% voting in favor! English became the official language for ALL governmental proceeding in Missouri. It also means no individual has the right to demand government services in a language OTHER than English.

In 2008 a measure was passed that requires our Highway Patrol and other law enforcement officials to verify the immigration status of any person arrested, and inform federal authorities if the person is found to be here illegally. It allows Missouri law enforcement offices to receive training to enforce federal immigration laws. The bill makes it clear that illegal immigrants will NOT have access to taxpayers benefits such as food stamps and health care through Missouri HealthNET.

In 2009 a measure was passed that ensures Missouri's public institutions of higher education do NOT award financial aid to individuals who are here illegally. The law also requires all post-secondary institutions of higher education to annually certify to the Missouri Dept. of Higher Education that they have NOT knowingly awarded financial aid to students who are unlawfully present in the United States.
So while Arizona has made national news for its new law, it is important to remember Missouri has been proactive in addressing this growing problem.

Missouri has sent a clear message that illegal immigrants are NOT welcome in our state and they are certainly NOT welcome to receive public benefits at the cost of Missouri taxpayers!

Article in "The Ozarks Sentinel" Editorial Opinion - Nita Jane Ayres, May 13, 2010

I need your Help

-As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in emails, BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 20 million people.

We don't want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on.

Please keep it going!

To show your support for President Obama please go to the end of the list below and add your name.

1. Michelle Obama
2.