Saturday, March 5, 2011


John Gebhardt's wife, Mindy, said that this little girl's entire family was executed.

The insurgents intended to execute the little girl also, and shot her in the head...but they failed to kill her.

She was cared for in John 's hospital and is healing up, but continues to cry and moan.

The nurses said John is the only one who seems to calm her down, so John has spent the last four nights holding her while they both slept in that chair. The girl is coming along with her healing.

He is a real Star of the war, and represents what the
combined service is trying to do.

This, my friends, is worth sharing. Go for it!! You'll never see things like this in the news.

Please keep this going.

Nothing will happen if you don't, but the
world needs to see pictures like this and needs to realise
that what we're doing over there is making a difference.

Even if it is just one little girl at a time.

This girl is dangerous

JULY

This year July has 5 Fridays 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This apparently happens once every 823 years.
This is called money bags. So send this on and money will arrive in 5 days.
Based on Chinese feng shui the one who does not pass this on will have money troubles for the rest of the year...

Friday, March 4, 2011

( LAKE WALES COMMISION ELECTION )

As a resident of Lake Wales, and Lake Ashton Community since 2002 , I have followed closely the elections, for Mayor and Commissioners.

With the State of our economy attempting to reverse the negative trend in Business Growth and Citizens Welfare, we must be certain we elect those who will guide the community to a much better place than what we have experienced in the past 4 years.

The time is now to bring in leadership who’s agenda is to do more than just talk about improvements in every
Area of government and explain the method in which that can be accomplished.

After meeting with Betty Wojcik , candidate for Lake Wales City Commission Seat 4, District 27N , and hearing the many positive approaches she has for the betterment of Lake Wales , I am convinced she is the proven leader who can get the job done.

Not only is Betty Wojcik the present Executive Director of the Lake Wales Chamber of Commerce, but in reviewing her background in her field of leadership she has excelled in every commerce and community
Development position
she has held for the past 35 years.

When one reads of Bettys credentials in Economic Development Management, we find a leader who will not only strive to improve Lake Wales City Business Development , but one who believes in PEOPLE who she is ready to listen to with open arms. The citizens of Lake Wales certainly deserve no less from their leaders !

On April 5th, please make certain we not longer vote for those who wish to remain as status quo. Vote for proven leaders like Betty Wojick for Lake Wales City Commission.

Sincerely,

John L Chickness Sr.
Former Lake Ashton 1 CDD Supervisor

Small claim court hearing today, March 4, 2011

Paul Pontious is costing the residents of Lake Ashton bundles of money because of his control of Bingo. Because of him, and failure to turn over his records within ten days of reply or be face with a $50.00 a day fine, a filing fee, a small claim suit was filed totaling $633.50. They failed to supply records of Bingo Paul Pontious Bingo accounts.

HOA Lawyer Dan Perry refuses to pay the fine. How dumb can this guy get? Dan admitted he has already spend a good 10 hours on this case plus his court appearance. My estimate for the HOA cost is now over $2.000 and growing. It seems Dan Perry needs the money. Why doesn't he just have the HOA pay the fine and call it quits? Read the law Dan.

At the court hearing this morning Dave Ross, Ex president of the HOA , Jim Moyer, New president of the HOA and HOA attorney Dan Perry was there for the pre-trail hearing. They all agree that it should be a civil court case instead a small claims case, because of the criminal acts of Paul Pontious involved in this case.

After this case goes to court, another civil suit will be filed. Please note that we were unable to get Paul Pontious Bingo records so we took upon ourselves to hired a forensic accountant at our cost. Paul V. Hawkins was hired to investicate Paul Pontious four Bank Accounts at Center State Bank.

This investigation was trigger by the act of Lake Wales detectives, saying that there indeed was a criminal act done and that there was just too many people involved in this criminal matter.

A new date for the first trial has not been set. After this is said and done with, the total cost will be well over $50,000 just for a dumb $633.50 cost for records. Smart move, Mr Perry!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Subject: FW: WHY THERE WERE NO FITNESS CENTERS IN THE 50's

8:23 PM
Subject: Fw: WHY THERE WERE NO FITNESS CENTERS IN THE

50's

Those who were alive in the 1950's can relate to the attached video.

For others, you will have to use your imagination. The video demonstates

how young people remained physically fit in the 1950's. Also, it looks like

"flats" were the in-thing for these exercise demos.


You need a sense of humor to work in a
nursing home .

MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr.. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

Nurse Tracy asked him if there was
anything wrong.


'Yes, Nurse Tracy,' said Mr. Wallace.


'My Private Part died today, and I am
very sad.'


Knowing her patients were a little
forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,
she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry,
Mr. Wallace. Please accept my
condolences.'


The following day, Mr. Wallace was
walking down the hall with his Private
Part hanging out of his pajamas.


He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she
said, 'You shouldn't be walking down
the hall like that. Please put your
Private Part back inside your pajamas.'


'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr.
Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my
Private Part died.'


'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy , 'you did tell
me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'


(You've gotta love this.)


'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

IF YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!!

If you have news, we would like to hear it. lakeashtontalk@yahoo.com

90,000 hits today,Thursday, March 3, 2011 Thank you for your support

Paul and Carol Pontious

The Bingo Committee is running Bingo, Pot luck, HOA and the CDD. You might as well say they are running this community sucking in all the money they can get their hands on. Paul and Carol Pontious are like Bonnie and Clyde without weapons, this community is willing to give them all the money they want. Residents are walking around with their hands up. I will no longer go to Bingo or Pot luck and pay $2.00. Two dollars for what, to increase their bankroll? Soda cost .33 cents and plastic plate less than .05 cents. These people are making a business out of Pot Luck and Bingo. They also get paid $50.00 each for being on the CDD and the HOA. committee. A sucker is born every minute.

If you people wish to send them more money here is their address 4179 Aberdeen Lane, if you are unable to see them I am sure they are willing to drive over and pick up the money, 863-875-0873

HOA trail will begin on Friday.

Dan Perry will be in court this Friday defending the HOA and its members. Seems no one cares so I won't talk about it.

House Break-in's

This community has had two house break-in in the past month. Seems no one cares so I will not proceed any further.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Double click on picture to enlarge

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Jack Van Sickle


This is Jack Van Sickle, he calls the cops, he has over $600,000 missing from the city, fired the Chief of Police because he call in the FBI, , other people at city hall he fired and a few other police officials left because of this guy. He helped Paul Pontious enjoy the Bingo Money and ate at the restaurants at the Bingo players expense. Hay, where else can you find a guy like him, only in Chicago.

Betty Wojhcik, Lake Wales New City Commissioner

NEWS BULLETIN:

The small ponds that are surrounded by the golf course, prior to today all maintenance fees were paid by the developer, as of today we the community must pay his maintenance cost of $25,000. This community has been screwed again and again by the developer. These ponds must be maintain by us even if these ponds are surrounded by the golf course. The only way we can get to these ponds is by crossing over his golf course. Please remember that these ponds water's his golf course. It will be just a matter of time that the golf course will be sold to a private developer. There is little profit in this type of business. Yes. the developer loves us and Jake Eaton and Margo Stevens. These people never say no to the developer. I say we are getting screwed. First it was the coffee money on Monday morning, next it was the roads, than the bowling alley, housing lots, and now the ponds.

If I was in charge, I would say the hell with cutting the grass around the ponds, and maintaining the ponds, let the grass grow and let the fish be. Let mother nature do its thing. Amen

Monday, February 28, 2011

Funny Thoughts To Ponder

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
What is Satan's last name?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?
Do they bury people with their braces on?
How far east can you go before you're heading west?
How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states.
Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.
If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?
What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?
In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Can you daydream at night?
Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?
Can crop circles be square?
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?
When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Can animals commit suicide?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?
When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride". What do they say if two MEN get married?
Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?
Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?
If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isnt refrigerated?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
Can a black person join the kkk?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?
If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?
If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?
If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?
Do you yawn in your sleep?
Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?
If a cannible was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electricuted for his last meal?
Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take thier nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?
How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
Why can't donuts be square?
Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?
If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
Why do overalls have bel loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?
Do people in prison celebrate halloween.... if so how?
Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?
What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of siamese twins? Who gets to be king?
Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
How come cats butts go up when you pet them?
What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?
How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?
Why are dogs noses always wet?
If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?
Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?
Do bald people get Dandruff?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Can you cry under water?
Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?
If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
How come all of the planets are spherical?
How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?
when a pregnant lady has twins, is there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?
Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?
Why do they put holes in crackers?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
What do people in China call their good plates?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
If an escalotor breaks down, does it become stairs?
Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?
Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
What are the handles for corn on the cob called?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?
Do your eyes change color when you die?
Were Mary and Joseph's surname Christ before Jesus was born?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, Why do they play sweet home Alabama on the comercials?
If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?
If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Does a 'Marks-A-Lot' marker, mark any more than a regular marker?
If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?
On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
What do you call male ballerinas?
How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
Why people are so scared of mice,which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?
Can bald men get lice?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Does the postman deliver his own mail?
Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?
What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?
Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?
How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?
Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
Was Jesus a virgin when he died?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'
If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?
If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anythong to do with steam
What is another word for "thesaurus"?

Lake Ashton, community of Demons

This community is run by Thief's. These guys are wearing many hats and they also have their wife's involved. This place is very sick. Crooks are breaking into people's homes and no one cares. Yes, there are crooks among us. What a hell of a place to live. Don't turn your back. They have their hand in your back pocket.

Ted Kennedy

961 FBI Memo: Ted Kennedy Rented Chile Brothel

BOSTON — An FBI file contends that a young Edward Kennedy arranged to rent a brothel for a night while visiting Chile in 1961, a year before he was elected to the Senate.

The previously redacted memo, dated Dec. 28, 1961, was released by Judicial Watch, a Washington-based organization that said it obtained it through a Freedom of Information lawsuit.

According to the memo, Kennedy made arrangements to rent the brothel "for an entire night" in Santiago earlier in 1961.

Kennedy was a 29-year-old assistant district attorney in Boston. He was elected to the Senate in 1962 and served more than four decades until his death in 2009.

Kennedy's family remembers had no immediate reaction to the release of the memo.


Read more on Newsmax.com: 1961 FBI Memo: Ted Kennedy Rented Chile Brothel
Important: Do You Support Pres. Obama's Re-Election? Vote Here Now!

Pot Luck

Thanks to Carol Pontious, she raise the fee from $1.00 to $2.00, a 100 % increase. You can buy a 6 pack of soda for $1.99 or .33 cents a can. Where in hell is the rest of the money going? In her pocket, just like her husband Paul. That leaves $1.67 for paper plate and plastic folk, give me a break. These people are ripping us off, BAN POT LUCK, do not go. Why should we support the Pontious? They are destroying our community. Other communities don't charge anything. THIS IS A POT LUCK!

Everyone is leaving the Lake Wales Police Dept. Is it because of Jack Van Sickle?


This is the Guy who called the police on me because he thought I had a AK-47. How dumb can you get. And this guy is running? Yes, run like hell away from here.

His wife called the police on the Poker players, how dumb is that. Are they trying to say that have not sin. They both should be locked up and put away with the pontious. They are given this community a very bad name.

Anger Management


When you occasionally have a really bad day,
And you just need to take it out on someone,

Don't take it out on someone you know,

Take it out on someone you don't know,

But you know deserves it.


I was sitting at my desk when I remembered

A phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.


A man answered, saying

'Hello.'


I politely said,

'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear

'Get the right f***ing number!'

And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.


When I tracked down Robyn 'S correct number to call her,

I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.


After hanging up with her,

I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.


When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled

'You're an asshole!'

And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it,

And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,

When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,

'You're an asshole!'


It always cheered me up.


When Caller ID was introduced,

I thought my theraputic 'asshole'

Calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,

'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'


He yelled

'NO!'

And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,

'That's because you're an asshole!'

And hung up.

One day I was at the store,

Getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW

Cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,

But the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,

So I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,

Right after calling the first asshole
(I had
his number on speed dial,)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.


I said,

'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'


He said,

'Yes, it is.'


I then asked,

'Can you tell me where I can see it?'


He said,

'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ..

It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'


I asked,

'What's your name?'


He said,

'My name is Don Hansen,'


I asked,

'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'


He said,

'I'm home every evening after five.'


I said,

'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'


He said,

'Yes?'


I said,

'Don, you're an asshole!'


Then I hung up,

And added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,

I had two assholes to call.


Then I came up with an idea...


I called asshole #1.


He said,

'Hello.'


I said,

'You're an asshole!'

(But I didn't hang up.)


He asked,

'Are you still there?'


I said,

'Yeah!'


He screamed,

'Stop calling me,'


I said,

'Make me,'


He asked,

'Who are you?'


I said,

'My name is Don Hansen.'


He said,

'Yeah? Where do you live?'


I said,

'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

A yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'


He said,

'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'


I said,

'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'

And hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.


He said,

'Hello?'


I said,

'Hello, asshole,'


He yelled,

'If I ever find out who you are...'


I said,

'You'll what?'


He exclaimed,

'I'll kick your ass,'


I answered,

'Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'


Then I hung up and immediately called the police,

saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,

and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.


Then I called Channel 7 News

about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax ..


I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax ..


I got there just in time to watch two assholes

beating the crap out of each other

in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter

and surrounded by a news crew.


NOW I feel much better.


Anger management really does work


George Flint

George Flint, Distinct Manager will provide residents with a CDD orientation


2011 HOA (Lake Wales) Directors and Officers

At the HOA Annual Meeting for members on Sunday, February 27, the following Directors were elected:

Sonny Robinson.
New officers elected for the Board of Directors
President, Jim Moyer;
Vice President, Murray Zacharia;
Treasurer, Frank Ota;
Secretary, Jo Ann De Winkler.

Another Zoo of characters
This election was a complete rip off. They were elected without a single vote. This was not a election but a scam. Paul Pontious destroyed the image of the HOA. They did not get elected period. Even if you did not vote they were elected. Yes, this community is in trouble. Pot luck is now $2.00. WHY The Pontious control this community. Don't go to pot luck and Bingo. Other communities charge NO money at all for Pot Luck

Sunday, February 27, 2011

View from the Top... By astronaut Douglas Wheelock

Absolutely amazing... enjoy!

NASA astronaut Douglas Wheelock who is currently aboard the International Space Station shares pictures of the Earth he snaps with the world through Twitter.

Known to his nearly 68,000 Twitter followers as Astro_Wheels, Wheelock has been posting impressive photos of the Earth and some of his thoughts ever since he moved into the space station in June, five months after it got Internet access.

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Greek islands on a clear night during our flight over Europe. Athens shine brightly along the Mediterranean Sea.



4
'Mystery Island' ...located in the Indian Ocean close to Madagascar. Interesting features on the island and the unusual shape should be enough to help you discover this beautiful place.



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Northern lights in the distance in one of the finest nights over Europe. The photo clearly shows the Strait of Dover. Paris is dazzling with the city lights. A little fog over the western part of England, particularly over London.



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The moon is breathtaking.

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Of all the places of our beautiful planet few can rival the beauty and richness of colors in the Bahamas. In this photo, our ship is seen against the backdrop of the Bahamas.

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At a speed of 28,163 kilometers per hour (8 kilometers per second), we rotate the Earth's orbit, making one revolution every 90 minutes, and watch sunsets and sunrises every 45 minutes. So half of our journey is in darkness. For the work we use lights on our helmets.

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Every time I look out the window and see our beautiful planet, my soul sings! I see blue skies, white clouds and bright blessed day.

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Another spectacular sunset. We see 16 such sunsets each day, and each of them is really valuable.

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Beautiful atoll in the Pacific Ocean, photographed using 400mm lens. Approximately 1930 km south of Honolulu.

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Perfect reflection of sunlight in the eastern Mediterranean.

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Above the center of the Atlantic Ocean, before another stunning sunset. Downstairs in the setting sun visible spiral Hurricane Earl.

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A little farther east, we saw a sacred monolith Uluru, better known as Ayers Rock. I have never had the opportunity to visit Australia, but someday I hope that I will stand by this miracle of nature.


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Morning over the Andes in South America. I do not know for sure the title of this peak, but was simply amazed by her magic, stretching to the sun and wind tops.


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Over the Sahara desert, approaching the ancient lands and thousand-year history. River Nile flows through Egypt by the Pyramids of Giza in Cairo. Further, the Red Sea, Sinai Peninsula, Dead Sea, Jordan River, as well as the island of Cyprus in the Mediterranean Sea and Greece on the horizon.

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Night view of the River Nile, stretching like a snake through Egypt to the Mediterranean, and Cairo, located in the Delta. Far away in this picture, one can see the Mediterranean Sea.

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Our unmanned 'Progress 39P' approaches the ISS for refuelling. It is full of food, fuel, spare parts and all necessities for our station. Inside was a real gift - fresh fruit and vegetables. What a miracle after three months of food from a tube!

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I wanted to share with you this view from the Dome. We said goodbye to the members of our group Sasha, Misha and Tracy this weekend, and they returned safely back to Earth. In this photo, Tracy quietly dreams of returning home.

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Module Union 23C Olympus docked with the ISS . When our work ends here, we go back home to Earth. We fly over the snow-capped peaks of the Caucasus. The rising sun is reflected from the Caspian Sea.

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The flash of color, movement and life on the canvas of our amazing world. This is part of the Great Barrier Reef off the east coast of Australia, photographed through the lens of 1200 mm.

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All the beauty of Italy, a clear summer night. You can see many beautiful islands that adorn the coast - Capri, Sicily and Malta. Naples and Mount Vesuvius are allocated along the coast.

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At the southern end of South America lies the pearl of Patagonia. The amazing beauty of rugged mountains, massive glaciers, fjords and seas combined in perfect harmony.

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"Dome" on the side of nadir station gives a panoramic view of our beautiful planet. Fedor made the picture from the window of the Russian docking compartment. In this photo I'm sitting in the dome, preparing the camera for our evening flight over Hurricane Earl.

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Florida and southeastern U.S. in the evening. A clear autumn evening, the moonlight over the water and sky, dotted with millions of stars.

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Clear starry night over the eastern Mediterranean. The ancient land with a thousand years of history stretching from Athens to Cairo. Historical land of fabulous and alluring island ... Athens - Crete - Rhodes - Izmir - Ankara - Cyprus - Damascus - Beirut - Haifa - Amman - Tel Aviv - Jerusalem - Cairo - all of them turned into tiny lights in this cool November night.

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In this time of year you can enjoy the beauty of the polar mesospheric clouds. With our high-angle illumination, we were able to capture a thin layer of noctilucent clouds at sunset.

douglas-wheelock

Astronaut Douglas Wheelock


"You cannot turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again" - Bonnie Prudden