COLD IS A RELATIVE THING.
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat..
People in Maine plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Maine have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Mainers close the windows.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Maine get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in
Maine get upset because they can't start the snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Maine start saying...'cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late.
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