Wit of the Scots

Wit of the Scots

An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up
golf. So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a
message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the
club to enquire why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?

Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock.

Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.

Scot: Aye, so do I.

Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?

Scot: Aye, neither do I.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scot: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So you are circumcised?

Scot: Aye, I be that too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel
comfortable with that.

Scot: Ach, away with ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to
march with the Orangemen.
And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint
Columbus .

But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to
join a golf club.