Lake Ashton Man Wins “Dairy Farmer of the Year” Award
Farmer Mark of Lake Ashton, Florida, has won the national dairy farmer of the year award. This award, given every year, is based upon total production of bottles of milk. In an exclusive interview, Farmer Mark was asked, “How did you achieve such a high production from your cows”?
“Well, he replied, our own Lake Ashton cows have been psychologically trained to want to give milk. We have about nine hundred stalls, and each stall is equipped with a special Emmex milking machine. At a thousand bottles per stall, that’s nearly a million bottles a year, and because the machines are automatic, we never even have to go near the cows. But we have even better ways of getting more milk, he added. We have uniformed greeters at each end of the farm that makes our cows feel secure. We get another two hundred thousand bottles a year just from that. I have an assistant, Farmer Joe, who keeps my cows occupied with fun things to do, and whispers in each cow’s ear how good they have it here. That brings in another four hundred and fifty thousand bottles a year. And we keep our pastures well cut and trimmed with flowers, and the cows give us another two hundred and twenty five thousand bottles just for that. Some of our cows, about 500 or so, like to graze on special pastures filled with little lakes and sand holes. Each one of those gives us an additional three thousand or more bottles of milk, or a million and a half more bottles a year. Even better, some of our cows get special food and drinks that we prepare right here in the barn, and they give an added eight bottles for each drink and 25 bottles for each special meal. Overall, that’s another two hundred and fifty to five hundred thousand bottles a year. But even better than that, our cows give extra milk each and every year to cover their costs of living in their own stalls. That’s another seven hundred and fifty thousand bottles. Yep, I guess we have the best dairy farm in the whole world right here in Lake Ashton. I sure hope nothing changes those cow’s minds and they keep on giving me all their milk”.
Have you been milked today?
Lake Ashton Dairy extends a hearty "Thank You" to the people who make it all possible and especially the following:
Jake, who never lets our competitors in the door;
Brenda, who's husband drinks two million bottles of our milk every year; and
Carol, who sells our milk for a slight commission.
STOP THE MILKING AND THE BILKING!!
VOTE Chickness, Fuller, & Cruz, FOR THE PEOPLE!!!
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