A couple attending an art exhibition...
A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were
staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on
a park bench. Two of the figures had black weenies, but the one in the
middle had a pink weenie.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for
nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation
of African-Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
"Infact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink
weenie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression
experienced by gay men in contemporary society."
After the curator left, a young man in a Kentucky T-shirt approached the
couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really
about?"
"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the
gallery?" asked the couple..
"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no
African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Kentucky coal
miners, and the guy in the middle went home for lunch."
Sunday, October 25, 2009
ugliest suit
Sorry 'bout sending this: just write it off to my sick sense of humor . . this struck me as very funny first thing this morning.
Finally got a job:
First day at work, when the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed my hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, I blurted out that I had some great news for him.
"Guess what?, I sold that terrible, ugly suit you said would never sell."
"Do you mean that repulsive pink and blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me... why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh, this? After I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
Finally got a job:
First day at work, when the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed my hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, I blurted out that I had some great news for him.
"Guess what?, I sold that terrible, ugly suit you said would never sell."
"Do you mean that repulsive pink and blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.
"That's the one!"
That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me... why is your hand bandaged?"
"Oh, this? After I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."
Friday, October 23, 2009
Yes, living in a 55 plus community has rules
Article Courtesy of The St. Petersburg Times
By Drew Harwell
Published September 23, 2009
CLEARWATER — Before the court motions, before the eviction threats, before the limo rides to TV studios, Kimberly Broffman was 6 months old, just a baby, moving into a new home.
It was February 2004, and her mother had been beaten during a home invasion. To help with healing, mother and daughter moved in with Judie and Jimmy Stottler, the mom's parents.
The Stottlers grew close to the little girl, an only child. But as mom Melanie Broffman recuperated, they said, her history of drug use returned. The Stottlers called the authorities and demanded she leave. They took custody of Kimberly.
With her mother gone, her father a mystery and no other relatives to speak of, Kimberly's living arrangement seemed simple. Except for this: She was breaking the law. And now her case has drawn national attention
The Stottlers' home, under the management of the Lakes Homeowners Association, was designated 55-and-over. Children could live there for no more than 60 days a year.
The association, which said its bylaws worked to preserve the age-restricted community, wanted Kimberly gone. But the Stottlers' attempts to sell their house stalled. Kimberly had no place else to go.
In January 2007, Judie Stottler, 62, begged. "I support three people on an income of approximately $18,000.00 a year and we cannot afford to move anywhere without the (sale) of this home. We do not have any family to take us in therefore; we would be forced to be homeless," she wrote in a letter to the association. "Please understand that we are doing everything possible and we appreciate your understanding."
A month later, the association responded with a summons to court.
Spread across two years of court documents, the association's attorney, Monique Walker, has outlined the case against the Stottlers. The Lakes' restrictions are clear, she wrote, and legally acceptable under the Fair Housing Act. When the Stottlers moved in years before Kimberly's birth, after Judie inherited the home from her mother, the family signed in acknowledgement.
Just as clear, documents show, are the association's attempts to settle. In April 2005, the Stottlers promised that Kimberly would be gone in 18 months — enough time, they thought, to sell the house or await Broffman's return.
Kimberly's mother had been ordered into the PAR Village , a rehabilitation center. "She was only there a month and she fled," Judie Stottler said in a deposition.
Selling their home in a recession proved impossible, too, even as their starting price of $229,000 dipped by $20,000. Kimberly's move-out deadline passed.
The association filed its lawsuit against the Stottlers and other families in violation, asking for an injunction to enforce their neighborhood bylaws. Robert Eckard, a Palm Harbor lawyer angered by what he said was the association's bulldozing of a healthy family, represented the Stottlers for free.
A first-grader at Pinellas Central Elementary, Kimberly doesn't know much about the dispute. Nor does she ask. Her questions tend toward her missing mother, who the Stottlers say is sick and getting better. Broffman faces prosecution next month on a charge she battered her father.
With a Wednesday morning appearance on the Today show, a night drive to Tampa for an appearance on CNN Headline News and constant phone calls from reporters nationwide, the conflict is getting harder to hide. A viewer, for instance, saw the Today report and raised the possibility of offering rent-free accommodations.
Neighbors are divided over what to do.
"We all have rules we have to live by in society. When I moved in here, I knew the rules and I accepted them," neighbor Mike Hoffman said Wednesday. "It's tough, but I think they should find a new place to live. ... The doggone association has got a job to do, too. They can't turn their back on it."
Others aren't so dismissive of the Stottlers' dilemma.
"I know they're in a strange situation. If I was in a situation like that, I don't know what I would do. Dig in my heels, too, I guess," said Sonny Ebert, who lives down the block. "I know we have rules and regulations, but let's have some compassion."
As the lawsuit stretches through its second year, with no clear end in sight, it appears neither side plans to back down.
A motion filed on behalf of the association recently sought to order Kimberly out of the house, but was denied. The judge is awaiting the family law file from the year Kimberly moved in to determine if the custody order specified an address, a finding that could possibly lead to a waiver for the association. Case management conferences between attorneys are ongoing.
The Stottlers say their options are still slim. Their home, now listed at $129,000, has had one prospect in the last nine months, and foster care is still out of the question.
State officials say the process of taking a child from an established home would be hazardous for everyone involved.
"If you're that child's parents, giving the child away is an unfathomable position," said Department of Children and Families spokeswoman Erin Gillespie. "Foster care is a last resort, all the time. It's just not the best place to be for kids."
In her own 6-year-old way, Kimberly agrees. From the top of her pink bunk bed, in a room strewn with stuffed bears and plastic toys, she speaks her mind after a shy stretch of silence.
"This," she said, "is my home."
By Drew Harwell
Published September 23, 2009
CLEARWATER — Before the court motions, before the eviction threats, before the limo rides to TV studios, Kimberly Broffman was 6 months old, just a baby, moving into a new home.
It was February 2004, and her mother had been beaten during a home invasion. To help with healing, mother and daughter moved in with Judie and Jimmy Stottler, the mom's parents.
The Stottlers grew close to the little girl, an only child. But as mom Melanie Broffman recuperated, they said, her history of drug use returned. The Stottlers called the authorities and demanded she leave. They took custody of Kimberly.
With her mother gone, her father a mystery and no other relatives to speak of, Kimberly's living arrangement seemed simple. Except for this: She was breaking the law. And now her case has drawn national attention
The Stottlers' home, under the management of the Lakes Homeowners Association, was designated 55-and-over. Children could live there for no more than 60 days a year.
The association, which said its bylaws worked to preserve the age-restricted community, wanted Kimberly gone. But the Stottlers' attempts to sell their house stalled. Kimberly had no place else to go.
In January 2007, Judie Stottler, 62, begged. "I support three people on an income of approximately $18,000.00 a year and we cannot afford to move anywhere without the (sale) of this home. We do not have any family to take us in therefore; we would be forced to be homeless," she wrote in a letter to the association. "Please understand that we are doing everything possible and we appreciate your understanding."
A month later, the association responded with a summons to court.
Spread across two years of court documents, the association's attorney, Monique Walker, has outlined the case against the Stottlers. The Lakes' restrictions are clear, she wrote, and legally acceptable under the Fair Housing Act. When the Stottlers moved in years before Kimberly's birth, after Judie inherited the home from her mother, the family signed in acknowledgement.
Just as clear, documents show, are the association's attempts to settle. In April 2005, the Stottlers promised that Kimberly would be gone in 18 months — enough time, they thought, to sell the house or await Broffman's return.
Kimberly's mother had been ordered into the PAR Village , a rehabilitation center. "She was only there a month and she fled," Judie Stottler said in a deposition.
Selling their home in a recession proved impossible, too, even as their starting price of $229,000 dipped by $20,000. Kimberly's move-out deadline passed.
The association filed its lawsuit against the Stottlers and other families in violation, asking for an injunction to enforce their neighborhood bylaws. Robert Eckard, a Palm Harbor lawyer angered by what he said was the association's bulldozing of a healthy family, represented the Stottlers for free.
A first-grader at Pinellas Central Elementary, Kimberly doesn't know much about the dispute. Nor does she ask. Her questions tend toward her missing mother, who the Stottlers say is sick and getting better. Broffman faces prosecution next month on a charge she battered her father.
With a Wednesday morning appearance on the Today show, a night drive to Tampa for an appearance on CNN Headline News and constant phone calls from reporters nationwide, the conflict is getting harder to hide. A viewer, for instance, saw the Today report and raised the possibility of offering rent-free accommodations.
Neighbors are divided over what to do.
"We all have rules we have to live by in society. When I moved in here, I knew the rules and I accepted them," neighbor Mike Hoffman said Wednesday. "It's tough, but I think they should find a new place to live. ... The doggone association has got a job to do, too. They can't turn their back on it."
Others aren't so dismissive of the Stottlers' dilemma.
"I know they're in a strange situation. If I was in a situation like that, I don't know what I would do. Dig in my heels, too, I guess," said Sonny Ebert, who lives down the block. "I know we have rules and regulations, but let's have some compassion."
As the lawsuit stretches through its second year, with no clear end in sight, it appears neither side plans to back down.
A motion filed on behalf of the association recently sought to order Kimberly out of the house, but was denied. The judge is awaiting the family law file from the year Kimberly moved in to determine if the custody order specified an address, a finding that could possibly lead to a waiver for the association. Case management conferences between attorneys are ongoing.
The Stottlers say their options are still slim. Their home, now listed at $129,000, has had one prospect in the last nine months, and foster care is still out of the question.
State officials say the process of taking a child from an established home would be hazardous for everyone involved.
"If you're that child's parents, giving the child away is an unfathomable position," said Department of Children and Families spokeswoman Erin Gillespie. "Foster care is a last resort, all the time. It's just not the best place to be for kids."
In her own 6-year-old way, Kimberly agrees. From the top of her pink bunk bed, in a room strewn with stuffed bears and plastic toys, she speaks her mind after a shy stretch of silence.
"This," she said, "is my home."
Thursday, October 22, 2009
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
It won..
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
Publicity that he ordered the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race...
The next day, the local paper headline
Read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
It won..
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
This was too much for the bishop, so he
Ordered the pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
Nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
The following headline
The
Next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted..
He informed the nun that she would have to
Get rid of the donkey, so she
Sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10..
This was too much for the bishop, so he
Ordered the nun to buy back the
Donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
Wild..
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . ..Being
Concerned about public opinion
Can bring you much grief and misery . .
Even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
You'll be a lot happier and Live longer!
It won..
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
Publicity that he ordered the
Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race...
The next day, the local paper headline
Read:
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
It won..
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again, and it won again.
This was too much for the bishop, so he
Ordered the pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
Nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
The following headline
The
Next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted..
He informed the nun that she would have to
Get rid of the donkey, so she
Sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10..
This was too much for the bishop, so he
Ordered the nun to buy back the
Donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
Wild..
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . ..Being
Concerned about public opinion
Can bring you much grief and misery . .
Even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
You'll be a lot happier and Live longer!
Catholic Coffee
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" stomach, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" stomach, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Suits claim housing bias in Fort Lauderdale
Article Courtesy of The Sun Sentinel
By Mike Clary
Published October 17, 2009
FORT LAUDERDALE - As she closed in on her dream of home ownership, Teresa Henderson had the money and she finally had the place she wanted: a one-bedroom, first-floor unit at Imperial Point Colonnades, a 552-unit complex on Northeast 67th Street in Fort Lauderdale.
The neighborhood was quiet, shopping was nearby, and the condominium was not far from her workplace at the Broward School Board.
But Henderson, 28, was denied the right to complete the $55,000 purchase, she said, after Imperial Point officials saw that she was African-American. "It was very upsetting," she said.
Henderson filed suit today in U.S. District Court in Fort Lauderdale claiming the condo association, property manager Terry Miller and association president Robert Miller committed housing discrimination based on race.
"Her dream was shattered, and she was left feeling humiliation and shame," attorney Shawn Heller said at a press conference today. Heller is with the Miami-based Florida Justice Institute, which filed the suit.
Tamar Shendell, an attorney representing Imperial Point Colonnades, could not be reached for comment.
In another suit filed in federal court today, a second Fort Lauderdale housing complex was named in a complaint of discrimination based on familial status. The Housing Opportunities Project for Excellence, known as HOPE, sent testers to the Mandalay Apartments at 2129 Davie Blvd. and found that managers refused to rent a second-floor unit to families with children under the age of 10.
The apartment manager declined to comment on the lawsuit.
Hope president Keenya Robertson said refusing to rent to families with young children constitutes a violation of the Fair Housing Act.
"We want to raise awareness that discrimination still exists," said Robertson, "and it is unacceptable."
Both lawsuits seek compensatory and punitive damages.
By Mike Clary
Published October 17, 2009
FORT LAUDERDALE - As she closed in on her dream of home ownership, Teresa Henderson had the money and she finally had the place she wanted: a one-bedroom, first-floor unit at Imperial Point Colonnades, a 552-unit complex on Northeast 67th Street in Fort Lauderdale.
The neighborhood was quiet, shopping was nearby, and the condominium was not far from her workplace at the Broward School Board.
But Henderson, 28, was denied the right to complete the $55,000 purchase, she said, after Imperial Point officials saw that she was African-American. "It was very upsetting," she said.
Henderson filed suit today in U.S. District Court in Fort Lauderdale claiming the condo association, property manager Terry Miller and association president Robert Miller committed housing discrimination based on race.
"Her dream was shattered, and she was left feeling humiliation and shame," attorney Shawn Heller said at a press conference today. Heller is with the Miami-based Florida Justice Institute, which filed the suit.
Tamar Shendell, an attorney representing Imperial Point Colonnades, could not be reached for comment.
In another suit filed in federal court today, a second Fort Lauderdale housing complex was named in a complaint of discrimination based on familial status. The Housing Opportunities Project for Excellence, known as HOPE, sent testers to the Mandalay Apartments at 2129 Davie Blvd. and found that managers refused to rent a second-floor unit to families with children under the age of 10.
The apartment manager declined to comment on the lawsuit.
Hope president Keenya Robertson said refusing to rent to families with young children constitutes a violation of the Fair Housing Act.
"We want to raise awareness that discrimination still exists," said Robertson, "and it is unacceptable."
Both lawsuits seek compensatory and punitive damages.
Social Security
You might all want to read this....just great!
Subject: Social Security
For the first time in history, Congress will not allow an increase in
the social security COLA (cost of living adjustment). In fact, the
Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation predicts there may not be any COLA
for the next three years. However, the per person monthly Medicare
Insurance premium will be increased from the 2009 premium of $96.40 to
$104.20 in 2010 and to $ 120.20 for the year 2011.
Let's send this to all senior that you know remind them not to vote
for the incumbent senators and congressmen in the 2010 and the 2012
Elections.
And don't forget - CONGRESS MADE NO ATTEMPT TO STOP THE AUTOMATIC PAY RAISE FOR THEMSELVES THIS YEAR.
Pay Raises for Lawmakers Anger Watchdog
Pay Raises for Lawmakers Anger Watchdog Groups
Each lawmaker is due for a $4,700 cost-of-living wage hike starting in January, which will amount to a total cost of $2.5 million for taxpayers
By Stephen Clark
Subject: Social Security
For the first time in history, Congress will not allow an increase in
the social security COLA (cost of living adjustment). In fact, the
Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation predicts there may not be any COLA
for the next three years. However, the per person monthly Medicare
Insurance premium will be increased from the 2009 premium of $96.40 to
$104.20 in 2010 and to $ 120.20 for the year 2011.
Let's send this to all senior that you know remind them not to vote
for the incumbent senators and congressmen in the 2010 and the 2012
Elections.
And don't forget - CONGRESS MADE NO ATTEMPT TO STOP THE AUTOMATIC PAY RAISE FOR THEMSELVES THIS YEAR.
Pay Raises for Lawmakers Anger Watchdog
Pay Raises for Lawmakers Anger Watchdog Groups
Each lawmaker is due for a $4,700 cost-of-living wage hike starting in January, which will amount to a total cost of $2.5 million for taxpayers
By Stephen Clark
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Margot Steavens "call the police" must resign from the CDD Board
You people that voted for Margo sure made a huge mistake. CDD board has had nothing but lots of complaints ever since she was voted in by very poor voters. Like I said earlier, there are a few sick people here at Lake Ashton. See news release below.
Lake Ashton Restaurant, is no longer 4 stars
Lake Ashton was hit with three health violations. You are indeed taken a chance eating at the restaurant. Yes, three health violations, and Do nothing Joe Hunter never told you. You could have been very sick but he just don't give a damn. Would I have lunch there, hell no, the food is poor, the prices are high, the service is lousy. No way would I eat there, do you need more proof?
Call the police its Margot Steavens again in the news.
CDD Meeting, and Margot Stevens
...
Sun, October 11, 2009 10:43:32 AM
To: lakeashtontalk@yahoo.com
Ed, you miss one of the most important CDD Meetings of the year. A female resident of Lake Ashton, told Margot Stevens, that she has (Conflict Interest) in the CDD Board, her husband get free Golf time, and he has an Ad on the Internet that he works for the Lake Ashton Developer. Salvin revealed, that the Lake Ashton Restaurant was hit with 3 Health Violations, so they should put it, in the Restaurant Board.
...
Sun, October 11, 2009 10:43:32 AM
To: lakeashtontalk@yahoo.com
Ed, you miss one of the most important CDD Meetings of the year. A female resident of Lake Ashton, told Margot Stevens, that she has (Conflict Interest) in the CDD Board, her husband get free Golf time, and he has an Ad on the Internet that he works for the Lake Ashton Developer. Salvin revealed, that the Lake Ashton Restaurant was hit with 3 Health Violations, so they should put it, in the Restaurant Board.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)