Read until the end.....you'll laugh....
This                                  two-letter word in English has more meanings                                  than any other two-letter                                  word, and                                  that word
is 'UP.'  It                                  is listed in the
dictionary as an                                  [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or                                  [v].
It's easy to                                  understand UP, meaning toward the                                  sky
or at the top of the list, but when                                  we awaken in the morning, why                                  do                                  we
wake UP? 
At a meeting,                                  why does a topic come UP? Why                                  do
we speak UP, and why are                                  the
officers UP for
election and why                                  is it UP to the secretary                                  to
write UP a
report?                                  We call UP our                                  friends,
brighten UP a                                  room, polish UP the
silver, warm UP the                                  leftovers and                                  clean UP the kitchen.                                  We
lock UP the                                  house                                  and 
fix UP the                                  old
car. 
At other                                  times this little word has real                                  special
meaning. People                                  stir UP trouble,
line UP for
tickets,                                  work UP an                                  appetite, and                                  think UP excuses.
To be                                  dressed is one
thing but to be                                  dressed UP is
special.
And this UP is                                  confusing:  A
drain must be                                  opened UP because it is                                  stopped  UP.
We
open UP a store                                  in the morning but we close                                  it UP at
night. We                                  seem to be pretty                                  mixed
UP about UP !
To                                  be
knowledgeable about the proper uses                                  of UP,                                  look UP the                                  word UP in                                  the dictionary.. In a                                  desk-sized
dictionary, it                                  takes UP almost 1/4 of                                  the page and can add UP to                                  about
thirty                                  definitions
If you                                  are UP to                                  it, you might try                                  building UP a list of                                  the many                                  ways UP is                                  used. It will                                  take UP a lot of your                                  time, but if                                  you don't give UP, you                                  may
wind UP with a                                  hundred or
more.
When it                                  threatens to rain, we say it                                  is
clouding UP . When                                  the sun comes out
we say it is                                  clearing UP. When it rains,                                  it
soaks UP the
earth.                                  When it does not rain for awhile, things                                  dry UP. One could go on                                  & on, but I'll                                  wrap
it UP,                                  for now  ........my time                                  is UP !
Oh....one                                  more thing:
What is the first thing                                  you
do in the morning & the last                                  thing you do                                  at
night?
U 
   P !
Did that one crack you UP?
Don't                                  screw UP.. Send this on to everyone                                  you
look UP in your                                  address
book..or                                  not...it's UP to                                  you.  
 
Now 
I'll                                  shut UP
 
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