Take my ass to jail

A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2
miles south of the Virginia / West Virginia State line.
>
> When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the
driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Beckley
WV to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
>
> The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and
said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't
give him a ticket.

> He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and
didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in
the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could,
so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
>
> While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol
car. A drunken good old boy from West Virginia got out, watched the
performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the
rear door and got in.
>
> The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car,
opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was
doing.
>
> The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail,
cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'